DNA realises, 32 minutes later that 'boobs' is rather inappropriate for a National Newspaper.
But anyway ... a rose by any another name ...
But anyway ... a rose by any another name ...
Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts
2009-12-22
2009-12-08
FMyLife
After lots of dilly dallying around, I finally made my way to an Ophthalmologist. So turns out what I initially dismissed as 'staring at the screen' is an eye inflammation due to an allergic reaction.
Also, when reassessing my power, I was blown away by how little I can see out of my left eye. Classic seeing-double-when-drunk-as-portrayed-in-movies double. What I have to do is wait out this inflammation and then get it checked again. A week of eye drops and that should do it, apparently.
So why am I typing this out here.
The eye drops.
How appropriately ironic.
Perfect.
Also, when reassessing my power, I was blown away by how little I can see out of my left eye. Classic seeing-double-when-drunk-as-portrayed-in-movies double. What I have to do is wait out this inflammation and then get it checked again. A week of eye drops and that should do it, apparently.
So why am I typing this out here.
The eye drops.
How appropriately ironic.
Perfect.
2009-11-19
Perspective
So everyday while walking back you see a black Punto and a black Swift parked opposite each other on a side street.
The scene always reminds you why, regardless of her quirks and foibles, and the obvious superiority of the other, you always fall for the pretty girl..
Hope Fiat doesn't lose it this time.
The scene always reminds you why, regardless of her quirks and foibles, and the obvious superiority of the other, you always fall for the pretty girl..
Hope Fiat doesn't lose it this time.
2009-10-27
Open Letter
Dear Toilet Cleaner Manufacturers,
You really spare no expense or creativity to come up with some of the best advertisements on Indian television. I mean, showing before and after shots of a (once) dirty toilet is sheer genius. Then there are those with your host visiting said dirty toilet's home with camera crew and getting reactions from satisfied customers. That is sheer genius with a cherry on top.
But hear me out here. How about not playing those ads on prime time TV, say between 8pm-10pm, because, you know, most people have dinner during that time. I don't know about you, but the sight of a dirty loo just as I am about to shove the next tasty morsel into my mouth unnerves me a bit. I mean, I know where all that rajma is going to end up eventually, but I'd rather not think about it right now.
How many customers do you think you gain by this? I certainly will never even consider picking up your product when I am in the market. You spoil my dinner, I don't buy your stuff. Simple.
So here's an idea. Pull those ads. Instead allocate that budget to 'adopting' the toilets on the Railway Station, Bus Stand, etc. Feel free to display your wares, slap your posters all over the place. But keep them as clean as the 'after' pictures in your ads. That would create a positive impression and people would appreciate it. And next time I go to the store, I would remember to buy your brand.
Sincerely,
You really spare no expense or creativity to come up with some of the best advertisements on Indian television. I mean, showing before and after shots of a (once) dirty toilet is sheer genius. Then there are those with your host visiting said dirty toilet's home with camera crew and getting reactions from satisfied customers. That is sheer genius with a cherry on top.
But hear me out here. How about not playing those ads on prime time TV, say between 8pm-10pm, because, you know, most people have dinner during that time. I don't know about you, but the sight of a dirty loo just as I am about to shove the next tasty morsel into my mouth unnerves me a bit. I mean, I know where all that rajma is going to end up eventually, but I'd rather not think about it right now.
How many customers do you think you gain by this? I certainly will never even consider picking up your product when I am in the market. You spoil my dinner, I don't buy your stuff. Simple.
So here's an idea. Pull those ads. Instead allocate that budget to 'adopting' the toilets on the Railway Station, Bus Stand, etc. Feel free to display your wares, slap your posters all over the place. But keep them as clean as the 'after' pictures in your ads. That would create a positive impression and people would appreciate it. And next time I go to the store, I would remember to buy your brand.
Sincerely,
2009-10-25
Wide Load
So I found this in one of my Site Meter visit logs...
That, is an unbelievably wide screen, but running 16bit colour would be a letdown.
2009-09-02
un:News
While generally flipping through the channels, I came across Star News' coverage of YSR Reddy's helicopter going missing. Typically, since they had nothing to fill the space with, they did what any non self respecting 24x7 Indian News Channel would do: pile on the bullshit.
So I got to hear how the Bell-430 is an inherently dangerous machine, with videos of random helicopters crashing (a few looked like tests to me), how hydraulic systems are a death trap and should be abolished and the like. But most glaring of all, to me, was the enlightened soul informing viewers that the Bell-430 has Rolls-Royce engines which are made by 'car nirmata' Rolls Royce.
About 30 seconds on Wikipedia would have informed them that Rolls Royce was split in 1973 and both pieces have since changed hands several times to get where they are now.
12 Hours after the thing went missing, some bad photoshops and wrong info - thats all they had.
Oh yes, and underwear ads, the bedrock of 24 hours news coverage.
So I got to hear how the Bell-430 is an inherently dangerous machine, with videos of random helicopters crashing (a few looked like tests to me), how hydraulic systems are a death trap and should be abolished and the like. But most glaring of all, to me, was the enlightened soul informing viewers that the Bell-430 has Rolls-Royce engines which are made by 'car nirmata' Rolls Royce.
About 30 seconds on Wikipedia would have informed them that Rolls Royce was split in 1973 and both pieces have since changed hands several times to get where they are now.
12 Hours after the thing went missing, some bad photoshops and wrong info - thats all they had.
Oh yes, and underwear ads, the bedrock of 24 hours news coverage.
2009-08-31
Good Morning, errr ... Vietnam!
So you wake up early this morning ... early by your loose standards. First thing you do is check your phone. No activity there equates no activity here.
A few minutes later, the phone buzzes to life. You flip it open and smile. Its time to get up - the day has just begun.
A few minutes later, the phone buzzes to life. You flip it open and smile. Its time to get up - the day has just begun.
2009-08-30
Flutterby
I don't get it.
What are they trying to say?
That Airtel is a company that will give up something it has been pursuing for 15-20 years for something that just flashed past? Just like that. Especially when it is so close to fulfilment.
Or that long term customers mean nothing to them?
Does it want viewers to identify with a dude who doggedly pursues his childhood sweetheart only to be distracted at the last moment by a girl with longer hair and larger assets?
Or does the 'Dil Titli Sa' mean that as customers, you will get momentary attention but when you really run into problems, they will have flitted over to the next guy - the one with the fatter wallet - and you will be left holding a dead connection and empty assurances.
How does that tie in to the whole MPEG4 deal? And maybe if his old MPEG2 box was looking so blurry, he should have gotten his eyes checked. Or wiped the condensation from his TV. Or gone easy on the Tequila. Because video codecs don't introduce Gaussian Blur.
Maybe its because I just watched the last episode of the first season of Mad Men ... and the Carousel message really hit me. So much so that I watched it five times after that.
But this sucks. Just having pretty faces and a pretty voice does not make up for lack of an underlying message.
2009-08-17
Why Do ...
While the rest of the world ponders over the redundancies of male anatomical features, our countrymen are looking to get that MBA one way or the other.
Here's to World Domination.
2009-07-28
Feminism ...
"There is a simple test to find out if a woman is sexist. If they see the phrase white power as racist, ask if they find the phrase girl power sexist. Get them to justify the discrepancy."
another one from the Register Comments section
another one from the Register Comments section
2009-07-26
Growing up ...
You are watching Top Gear with your brother and James May cracks a very dirty but extremely subtle sex joke. You look sideways at him, wondering if he is laughing just because everyone else is. But you also really wish he got it. And you don't know whether to feel relieved because of the former or a strange pride because of the latter.
That is me.
That is me.
2009-05-29
2009-05-07
Total Recall, not
So it happened that during the course of the weekend, I watched a movie that I had already seen. Nothing unusual there, except both times it was rather involuntary.
However, this time my mind was blank as I divided my time between the movie and finishing the last hundred pages of my book. Well, that was true of the last time too. Just a half-hearted attempt at watching the movie, trying to outdo the last comment and surreptitiously glancing to the side when the screen brightened a notch.
But on Thursday evening, I did not think about the last time I had watched the same scenes. Not once did fake Sony voice recorders, palak-batata, epaulets, chocolate mousse or eating wada sambar left-handed enter my mind.
Not once.
It was only later that I thought, 'Holy Crap! That just happened!'
That movie was Fanaa.
However, this time my mind was blank as I divided my time between the movie and finishing the last hundred pages of my book. Well, that was true of the last time too. Just a half-hearted attempt at watching the movie, trying to outdo the last comment and surreptitiously glancing to the side when the screen brightened a notch.
But on Thursday evening, I did not think about the last time I had watched the same scenes. Not once did fake Sony voice recorders, palak-batata, epaulets, chocolate mousse or eating wada sambar left-handed enter my mind.
Not once.
It was only later that I thought, 'Holy Crap! That just happened!'
That movie was Fanaa.
2009-04-21
2009-04-17
All that glitters ...
We sometimes have a funny way with metaphors. What exactly do they mean?
Most days I have been accused of having a heart of stone. Some people have been known to have a heart of gold. One is supposed to be bad and the other is a very good thing. Why so?
Both are hard (relatively), cold to the touch and a hundred percent inorganic. Sure, gold is malleable and stone isn't (maybe sometimes brittle), but that's not enough to put them on opposite ends of the scale.
The only thing that justifies the extremes of perception is the rarity and assigned monetary value. But who said that everything that is rare is necessarily good ... or vice versa.
I may be like everyone else .. but I ain't so bad, you know.
Most days I have been accused of having a heart of stone. Some people have been known to have a heart of gold. One is supposed to be bad and the other is a very good thing. Why so?
Both are hard (relatively), cold to the touch and a hundred percent inorganic. Sure, gold is malleable and stone isn't (maybe sometimes brittle), but that's not enough to put them on opposite ends of the scale.
The only thing that justifies the extremes of perception is the rarity and assigned monetary value. But who said that everything that is rare is necessarily good ... or vice versa.
I may be like everyone else .. but I ain't so bad, you know.
2009-04-12
Ctrl+Z?
The funny thing is that life offers no undo buttons. And it holds true in the virtual world too. A couple of posts which I was asked to delete are still present in my RSS feed for whoever is bothered to read them.
You can change the whole look of your webpage but the google cache won't forget. Not for a long time.
It just doesn't matter.
2009-04-09
Awake
Its quite some time past midnight, close to 3am, which is what I feel the phrase 'middle of the night' should mean.
I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, the blinking of the status LEDs of modems, routers and other assorted gadgets being a poor substitute for the twinkling stars that one can no longer see. The still air, heavy and foreboding, doesn't whisper the same lullaby that a softly flowing breeze sings without a second thought.
Alone, in the darkness, all my thoughts have been robbed of colour by the same all-pervasive gloom. I wait for sleep to come, to pull me along into the world of dreams. Not that its all rainbows and unicorns over there, but atleast its better than this.
I wait, the ticking of the clock - amplified a hundred fold - provides a metronomic rhythm which my slowly beating heart tries hard to match. I glance in its direction and observe the damn thing, stuck in a circle for all eternity, traveling many miles each day but not going anywhere. The second hand ticks past its brethren, but the stillness of the night seems to have taken its toll everywhere. I can feel the reluctance with which it advances - as compared to the day - ponderously taking the next step, an eternity between this moment and the next.
Somewhere in the distance, the high pitched squeak of a bat makes itself heard. I close my eyes. And see You. Like a pendulum, my imagination always swings back to the center, inevitably. Where ever I stretch it, however far. Its not a dream - I'm wide awake. I will my eyes open once again and wait for the dawn.
Meanwhile, there are some cracks on the ceiling that demand my undivided attention. I lay awake, staring at the ceiling ....
I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, the blinking of the status LEDs of modems, routers and other assorted gadgets being a poor substitute for the twinkling stars that one can no longer see. The still air, heavy and foreboding, doesn't whisper the same lullaby that a softly flowing breeze sings without a second thought.
Alone, in the darkness, all my thoughts have been robbed of colour by the same all-pervasive gloom. I wait for sleep to come, to pull me along into the world of dreams. Not that its all rainbows and unicorns over there, but atleast its better than this.
I wait, the ticking of the clock - amplified a hundred fold - provides a metronomic rhythm which my slowly beating heart tries hard to match. I glance in its direction and observe the damn thing, stuck in a circle for all eternity, traveling many miles each day but not going anywhere. The second hand ticks past its brethren, but the stillness of the night seems to have taken its toll everywhere. I can feel the reluctance with which it advances - as compared to the day - ponderously taking the next step, an eternity between this moment and the next.
Somewhere in the distance, the high pitched squeak of a bat makes itself heard. I close my eyes. And see You. Like a pendulum, my imagination always swings back to the center, inevitably. Where ever I stretch it, however far. Its not a dream - I'm wide awake. I will my eyes open once again and wait for the dawn.
Meanwhile, there are some cracks on the ceiling that demand my undivided attention. I lay awake, staring at the ceiling ....
2009-04-03
Espousing the inExplicable
People familiar with Applied Mechanics or App Mech as its known, will doubtlessly remember the brutal manner in which the subject mowed down students with the sadistic, cruel efficiency of the Grim Reaper during a cholera epidemic.
But its not just the subject that is totally incomprehensible and baffling. It starts in this case, with the first page.
What a masterpiece of seemingly senseless alliteration. An enduring edifice encompassing embarrassingly ersatz expedient eulogies, if I may say so myself.
Randomness
Is it just me or .....
... is the whistle of a supercharger utterly fascinating?
... can everything be made better by subtle blue LED lighting?
... is it possible to be close friends with a person solely through correspondence?
... does the sight of the setting sun's rays bursting from behind a cloud never get old?
... Its probably just me...
... is the whistle of a supercharger utterly fascinating?
... can everything be made better by subtle blue LED lighting?
... is it possible to be close friends with a person solely through correspondence?
... does the sight of the setting sun's rays bursting from behind a cloud never get old?
... Its probably just me...
2009-03-20
Where's your crown, King Nothing?
Careful what you wish
Careful what you say
Careful what you wish; you may regret it
Careful what you wish; you just may get it
Even though its intended to be as a warning of sorts, I would welcome my wishes coming true sometime. Hell, how will I know regret if I don't get my wish in the first place. Considering how contrary to my wishes everything is running, a little optimism will be a nice thing. Regret - I'll deal with that later. I'm used to it now.
Careful what you say
Careful what you wish; you may regret it
Careful what you wish; you just may get it
Even though its intended to be as a warning of sorts, I would welcome my wishes coming true sometime. Hell, how will I know regret if I don't get my wish in the first place. Considering how contrary to my wishes everything is running, a little optimism will be a nice thing. Regret - I'll deal with that later. I'm used to it now.
