Stay Classy, Shaadi.com

Actually, I would totally marry a girl who could do Darth Vader impressions.

Not an Idea

So Idea has gotten one more ad out on its dubious social change platform.

Few points.
Its very very annoying to read a newspaper or a magazine on a mobile phone screen. Have they ever tried it? Which is precisely the reason why everybody and their uncle is out unveiling e-book readers at CES.

Most of the phones shown are iPhones.
Idea doesn't even carry the iPhone.
Airtel does.

Maybe next time an ad with more than 10 minutes of brainstorming, eh?

And so it is ...

Its been a while that I have written something personal here. Not that I haven't noticed it till now, but somehow there was never anything I felt like writing. Though as such, there was a lot to write about.

But yesterday, while chatting with Sudnya, she happened to mention it. I retorted with 'you should be the one to talk' and she replied on the lines of .. 'I'm not so interesting when I'm peaceful / happy. That's where I usually rant'.

So, I thought for a moment, and I realised, that its more or less true for me too. For the first time in many months, I feel happy. Its not that happiness is an emotion which prevents you from displaying your feelings. Far from it. The difference lies in the fact that there are people around me now. I can talk, I can laugh and I can share. All person to person, without resorting to this medium.

So in a way, its a good thing that this place has been empty for a while. Because it means that I haven't. Its a good thing that my phone bill exceeds my rent bill because that's my outlet now.

Which also means that I devote this place to criticizing Hrithik Roshan ads.
Like this.



Yes, we know the secret ingredient of any good cookie is 'Love'. But not when the word before that is 'making'. On the same counter! Disgusting!

Pre-paid Piper

Perhaps the good people at Reliance are not familiar with what happened after the interval in the Pied Piper story.

Yes, that's right.

Instead of filing a breach of contract lawsuit like any good man swindled by The State would, he kidnaps the town's children. And as if that wasn't enough he discriminates against the disabled kid.

In keeping with my previous views, yes, he still needs a haircut and a shave.
And oh yeah, Napoleon called. He wants his coat back.

Open Letter

Dear Toilet Cleaner Manufacturers,

You really spare no expense or creativity to come up with some of the best advertisements on Indian television. I mean, showing before and after shots of a (once) dirty toilet is sheer genius. Then there are those with your host visiting said dirty toilet's home with camera crew and getting reactions from satisfied customers. That is sheer genius with a cherry on top.

But hear me out here. How about not playing those ads on prime time TV, say between 8pm-10pm, because, you know, most people have dinner during that time. I don't know about you, but the sight of a dirty loo just as I am about to shove the next tasty morsel into my mouth unnerves me a bit. I mean, I know where all that rajma is going to end up eventually, but I'd rather not think about it right now.

How many customers do you think you gain by this? I certainly will never even consider picking up your product when I am in the market. You spoil my dinner, I don't buy your stuff. Simple.

So here's an idea. Pull those ads. Instead allocate that budget to 'adopting' the toilets on the Railway Station, Bus Stand, etc. Feel free to display your wares, slap your posters all over the place. But keep them as clean as the 'after' pictures in your ads. That would create a positive impression and people would appreciate it. And next time I go to the store, I would remember to buy your brand.

Sincerely,

Dhak Dhak, Groan

Apparently Hero Honda sold another bajillion bikes and made record amounts of cash, bucking industry trends, recession, yada yada ..

But having loads of cash and throwing it by the gunny sackful at an ad agency gets you this ..








Wow! S-P-E-C-I-A-L E-F-F-E-C-T-S!

But Seriously, Wtf!

Hrithik Roshan is not in any way Moses ... and the SFX looks like those leftover reels from the Shaktimaan editing floor found a new home.

And yes, adding huge amounts plastic cladding to a piddling 150cc engine is like stuffing your underwear with a sock. Looks very impressive but when needed the most, you come up short.

Maybe they should stop making ads altogether. We all know people will still be buying a 'Passion++ Pro+++' a hundred years from now and it will still be a best seller. So why bother. Save that cash, add it to the balance sheet. But yes, deduct Rs. 15 for a shave, for Mr. Roshan.

Space - The Final Frontier

Evidentlythe22lakhpeoplefromthese250centersin140citieswillnowlearntowritefluentenglishwithnaryaspacebetweenwords.
They , howeverwilllearntoinsertanextraspacebetweenacommaanditsprecedingword.

Happily never after ...

Obviously, the nerds who designed the algorithm are irony impaired...

The Empire Strikes Back

Dear Google Overlords,

I am sorry.
Can I have the matrimonial ads back?
Please.

Best,

A

Flutterby

I don't get it.

What are they trying to say?

That Airtel is a company that will give up something it has been pursuing for 15-20 years for something that just flashed past? Just like that. Especially when it is so close to fulfilment.

Or that long term customers mean nothing to them?

Does it want viewers to identify with a dude who doggedly pursues his childhood sweetheart only to be distracted at the last moment by a girl with longer hair and larger assets?

Or does the 'Dil Titli Sa' mean that as customers, you will get momentary attention but when you really run into problems, they will have flitted over to the next guy - the one with the fatter wallet - and you will be left holding a dead connection and empty assurances.

How does that tie in to the whole MPEG4 deal? And maybe if his old MPEG2 box was looking so blurry, he should have gotten his eyes checked. Or wiped the condensation from his TV. Or gone easy on the Tequila. Because video codecs don't introduce Gaussian Blur.

Maybe its because I just watched the last episode of the first season of Mad Men ... and the Carousel message really hit me. So much so that I watched it five times after that.

But this sucks. Just having pretty faces and a pretty voice does not make up for lack of an underlying message.

Say Cheese...

I know I keep posting a lot of Google ads here ... but its funny how they just pick up the words and pay no attention at all to the context.

Just as well. Its good to know that the Google empire is still a long way from becoming sentient.

Paradox

Do I want the curve?
Or should I go for the flat abs?

Oooo!!! I don't know! I don't know!!!!

EOS

13x07.
The end of the season.
And probably, the end of an era.

So it could well be the last unabashedly politically incorrect German related World War joke on TV for quite some time.

Get one, get the other?

Now that the elections are over and the BJP has lost, comprehensively, suddenly L.K. Advani's genial face has disappeared from 'net. Especially from the google reader feeds, where *every single* item would be appended by a 'lkadvani.in' advertisment.

But then, there is never a dull moment in cyberspace, so I now have this. New 'split screen' arrangement, presumably to bombard us with 2x ads in the same space.



I wonder what sort of algorithm pitches Arranged Marriages along with Rigid Inflatable Boats ... but there must be something to it. Surely.

But, I for one, think that the 'You're in Control' slogan is much more at home on the other half of the screen.