Shine on you crazy diamond

According to WHO data, the average life expectancy of the Indian male is 62 years. Which means 39.5% of my life is over. Gone. Of course, if the genes I have inherited play their role, it could be lower than 30%. Which is a small relief - yes, but it does nothing to dispel that feeling of 'what have I done so far!'. People my age have won a F1 championship, bagged a Nobel Prize in Physics, started billion dollar companies and committed genocide. Some are even getting married. [shudder] . The point is - people lead exciting lives. Mine has about as much excitement as wallpaper paste and the future prospects are of a similar texture and consistency.

But it is heartening to see that while you may have a very low opinion of yourself there are people who prop you up, add a little chaat masala to your bland life. I refer of course, to the dewd, whose probing questions about my personal life make me feel like a celebrity on a colonoscopy table. Sure, most of these questions are related to the mystery surrounding the presence (or absence) of a female influence in my life. But hey, someone cares. And that is what matters. Plus, questions like 'when was the first time you held a girl's hand?' make you feel like its 3rd standard all over again. By WHO reckoning, that's just 13%. Which gives me plenty of time to practice my left foot braking and diffract X rays around crystals.

This post would have ended here if it wasn't for the fact that me and the dewd are so close that we are almost brothers. Which means my brother is his brother. Which means he is fair game.

Cartoon penned by Meera, who surprised me with this when I told her the tale and commented that she would do a good job of cartooning it. Which she has. She also turned out a solo one starring me but that is for another day.

Sorry to Disappoint

Why are some people so obtuse about certain things?

Before trying so hard to 'draw me out of my shell', did you pause for a moment and think that maybe that is how I am. I like it in my shell, thank you very much.

I am sorry I am not as ebullient and outgoing as you are, but we are not exactly stormtroopers in the clone army, are we?

I am sorry I don't share your enthusiasm about the music you listen to and the movies you watch and honestly, sometimes I don't even give a rat's ass about it. But I don't recall either of us conferring soulmate status on the other. Hell, I don't even recall conferring 'friend' status. So just let it go.

I am sorry I am not in the same league of 'coolness' or of the same wavelength as your old friends, but lets not pretend we are in this by choice. I feel your pain. But do I say it out loud every time? No.

When you ask me for my opinion on every bloody thing, and I just nod or say nothing, it doesn't mean I don't have an opinion. Trust me, I have an opinion on everything. But when I am silent, take it from me that it is not something you would want to hear.

I have a name. Its all very well adding '-ya' to someone's name to make it a nickname but do you really expect me to respond when you add it to my wireless SSID and address me by the concatenation?

Its ok if we are in the same room and there is silence for 10 minutes. Seriously, no pressure.

Regards,