2008-11-12

From the pages of History - II

Part 2 of the 'From the pages of History' series.

Loyal readers of this blog (there are 5) should know that it was a team effort and I was merely the archivist by default since I happened to pen down the first point on a page torn out of my book.

MMJ is so dark that....
  1. ...Mrs. MMJ uses night vision goggles in bed.
  2. ...Luke Skywalker hates him cause he IS the dark side of The Force.
  3. ...even Voldemort calls him the 'Dark Lord'.
  4. ...he is the leading cause of global warming.
  5. ...dark, darker, darkest, MMJ. (Oxford Dictionary (India) 2005 edition)
  6. ...our classroom blackboards turn green (with envy).
  7. ...his parents have labeled his childhood photo album, 'The Dark Ages'.
  8. ...Metallica's Black album was actually dedicated to him.
  9. ...the jokes he cracks in class are called Black Humor.
  10. ...pencils are available as HB,B,2B,...,7B,MMJ.
  11. ...when he eats dark chocolate it looks like a milkybar.
  12. ...in school he was listed under 'apparatus' for 'Radiation of black body' experiment.
  13. ...when he goes for an X-ray, they have to use white film.
  14. ...when he was small, his mother used talcum powder for the 'tika' so that 'drishta lagnaar nahi'.
  15. ...his sunscreen is -40 SPF.
  16. ...his shadow gets embarrassed in his presence.
  17. ...he stars in the new Hollywood flick, 'Opaque Man'.
  18. ...he calls himself 'Mr. India' at night.
  19. ...blacks call him 'coloured'.
  20. ...he makes carbon paper by wiping his face on tissues.
  21. ...Osama is thinking of using him to defeat face recognition technology.
  22. ...first God said, "Let there be light", and there was light. Then God said, "Let there be darkness." And MMJ was created.
  23. ...when he directs a movie, the credits will say, M. 'Night' Jadhav
  24. ...when he tried Xeroxing his butt, the machine ran out of toner.
  25. ...when he wore torn pants to school, the kids asked him why he had sat in tar.
  26. ...when MMJ was created God said, "Shit!!, Jal Gaya!!"
  27. ...when he grins, it is like chicklets floating in the air.
  28. ...he was the CIA's most successful shadow operative...until he was posted to Alaska.
  29. ...he offered to work naked for MIB.
  30. ...when he was disowned by his relatives, they called him 'the white sheep of the family'.
  31. ...when he returns after a long hiatus, he says he is, 'back in black'
  32. ...he did so much proxy voting last time, they had to make provision for eraz-ex at his polling booth.
  33. ..he leaves fingerprints on charcoal.
  34. ...when he goes to Cafe Coffee Day, it becomes Cafe Coffee Night.
  35. ...he is stopped by the cops for wearing black visor helmet.
  36. ...Iron Maiden were so scared of him, they wrote 'Fear of the Dark'.
  37. ...when he appears on TV it goes out of sync. [!! - nerdy]
  38. ...when feminist groups protest about his behaviour, they whiten his face with neutral polish.

This list was born in a very dull and largely silent System Programming class and achieved minor fame over the next few days as people vented their frustration at the protagonist and his (evil) ways. However, me and Akshay possessed the largest list of complaints since he happened to be our final year project guide.

2 comments:

mak said...

:D baap!
tya vasnik chya lecture la 2nd bench war basun paN magchya chimNyancha awaaj record zala... n sir ch nahi [:P]
nidan 'isn't it' tari record vayla hava hota

Akshay said...

ohh yes... that was damn funny ... :D ...

fakta tya sathi 2nd bench var baslo hoto... pan tari kahi upyog nahi zala ...

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