Shine on you crazy diamond

According to WHO data, the average life expectancy of the Indian male is 62 years. Which means 39.5% of my life is over. Gone. Of course, if the genes I have inherited play their role, it could be lower than 30%. Which is a small relief - yes, but it does nothing to dispel that feeling of 'what have I done so far!'. People my age have won a F1 championship, bagged a Nobel Prize in Physics, started billion dollar companies and committed genocide. Some are even getting married. [shudder] . The point is - people lead exciting lives. Mine has about as much excitement as wallpaper paste and the future prospects are of a similar texture and consistency.

But it is heartening to see that while you may have a very low opinion of yourself there are people who prop you up, add a little chaat masala to your bland life. I refer of course, to the dewd, whose probing questions about my personal life make me feel like a celebrity on a colonoscopy table. Sure, most of these questions are related to the mystery surrounding the presence (or absence) of a female influence in my life. But hey, someone cares. And that is what matters. Plus, questions like 'when was the first time you held a girl's hand?' make you feel like its 3rd standard all over again. By WHO reckoning, that's just 13%. Which gives me plenty of time to practice my left foot braking and diffract X rays around crystals.

This post would have ended here if it wasn't for the fact that me and the dewd are so close that we are almost brothers. Which means my brother is his brother. Which means he is fair game.

Cartoon penned by Meera, who surprised me with this when I told her the tale and commented that she would do a good job of cartooning it. Which she has. She also turned out a solo one starring me but that is for another day.